Why It’s Okay to Leave Your Spouse to Do This

Are you an older woman who likes to travel? Would you love to find a travel buddy? Then join our private Facebook group, The Ethel On-The-Go, today. You'll love it!

 
Several summers ago, as my sister-in-law and I sipped drinks at a Los Cabos resort’s cocktail hour, watching the sun begin to set over the Sea of Cortez, a male guest approached us. “Where are your husbands?” We shrugged our shoulders — we had no idea. But if we had to guess, they were probably doing whatever made them happy that evening back home in Wisconsin. Yet this gentleman could not let it go, and could not imagine a world in which someone traveled without their spouse.

However, we could. We’d been doing it for years. That’s because our husbands are content with taking one trip a year, while we definitely want more travel in our lives.

We've since embarked on an annual tradition: taking a cruise to a warm climate every winter, along with other trips here and there. Since neither of us has sisters, we easily become the sisters we never had.

If you look closely at photos advertising travel experiences, they usually feature a couple. But I’m here to say that’s not the only way to travel — even if you are happily married. I’m also not suggesting solo travel as the only recipe for this travel formula.

In lieu of a spouse, you could travel with a group of friends, or with a family member or close friend. As I write this, various rooms in my house are piled with camping gear for my husband’s annual spring trip with his guy friends, and I’m pulling out linen clothing from my closet for an escape to the Arizona desert. We’ll reunite in a week. My husband isn’t a fan of the desert, and I’m not so hot on camping. Why should we torture each other?

“I would not be married for close to 40 years if my husband were my go-to travel companion,” says a roving journalist who has traveled the world. “First off, he likes to sleep in, and I rise early and hit the ground running — or at least walking fast. He likes to do architectural tours, and I like to do people-watching tours, with stops at cafes and little stores and just strolling through towns. So I go away with girlfriends, or on solo adventures.”

If you’re worried about packing some guilt into your luggage when you take a trip without your partner, think about it this way. Do you join them at their guys’ golf games, and do they come to your book club? Absolutely not! Every couple needs time apart and it’s virtually impossible to share the same list of hobbies and friends.

Though it’s not like my husband and I never travel together. We’ve strolled the cobblestone streets of villages in Italy’s Tuscany region, tasted wine together in Sonoma, bicycled along the shoreline in Anchorage, and watched our favorite bands perform in an annual festival in Golden Gate Park, several years in a row. We like some of the same things when we travel — but not everything.

I found further testament to my belief that couples don’t always have to travel together when I took a hula-dancing class at a resort in Hawaii’s Kona region last December. In addition to me and two others, the class included about 10 active older women traveling together from Georgia — sans spouses.

Intrigued, I chatted with a few of them about what inspired the trip. They met through a local community center and found travel companions in each other. One woman shared a story that brought tears to my eyes: her husband of 50-plus years had just died, but before he did, he declared, “I know you are going to get to Hawaii one day.”

Even if you are blissfully married, spending time apart injects a little bit of romance — stay with me here — because you’re not connected at the hip. Some of my favorite times with my husband are when he picks me up at the airport. We’re excited to be reunited and share what the heck we’ve been up to over the last few days, missing each other while apart.

“The old adage is true: Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” says the globetrotting journalist. “I am always happy to see him, and I find him far less annoying than when I left.”

Also, check this out. Six destinations perfect for a longer visit.

Have any of YOU ever traveled without your partner? Let us know in the comments below.