What I Finally Did to Find the Joy in Cooking Again

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It started with a faulty oven. The darn thing just would not get up to the right temperature. So I bought a thermometer and called the appliance company. Eventually, I made the chicken dish I’d been looking forward to trying for weeks, and it was fine, but it brought me zero joy. I had somehow lost my desire to cook.

Now, I knew it wasn’t really about the oven, as annoying as that was. And I knew the stress of having a new puppy wasn’t fully to blame. Though his overeager presence in the kitchen certainly wasn’t helping me ease into my normal, relaxed cooking state. It wasn’t my full workload as I’d been busy before and had typically found joy and a release in putting together a meal from pantry staples. I was in a rut and needed to find my way out, lest I go broke ordering takeout and dining out.

There are many reasons a person with a passion for cooking might lose touch with the previously beloved rituals of preparing a meal and enjoying it with a spouse, a friend or by oneself. It may be stress or burnout, or it may be related to an illness or sheer exhaustion. A breakup or divorce can impact a person’s appetite, as can the winter doldrums, with uninspired produce in the grocery aisles.

Whatever the reasons — or inability to pinpoint said reasons — there are myriad ways to reignite your passion for cooking. For help on this subject, I spoke with two food professionals: Maggie Hoffman, former digital director of Epicurious and host of The Dinner Plan podcast and Julia Skinner, a food writer and founder of Culinary Curiosity School, which has classes to help cooks reignite their passion for cooking.

Spruce Up Your Kitchen

We’re not talking about a major kitchen renovation involving contractors and an unusable space for months on end. Instead, you might, suggests Hoffman, buy yourself something like “a pantry staple that’s exciting.” It doesn’t have to be expensive. Think “really good anchovies,” or ingredients from your “local Italian market,” Hoffman says.

When my rut took hold and I seemed destined for takeout, I ended up purchasing an air fryer. Late to the game, I know, though suddenly I was obsessed with reading air fryer recipe blogs, planning my husband’s and my next Friday night supper.

As Hoffman points out, though, your new kitchen purchase doesn’t have to be a big investment. Just something that brings you joy, like a fancy French cheese, a really good olive oil or aged balsamic. Maybe it’s a small cast-iron pan you find at a flea market or a new wooden cooking spoon you don’t necessarily need but want for your collection.

Get Out of Your Own Kitchen

While taking a cooking class is the most obvious choice and something which Hoffman suggests might help reignite a dormant love of cooking, it’s not always the most budget-friendly option. If you can afford an in-person class, maybe one that focuses on a new type of cuisine you’ve never experimented with before or sharpening a certain skill, then by all means: Get thee out of your kitchen and into another led by a culinary professional.

But, if a cooking class isn’t in your budget right now, what about cooking a meal at a friend’s house? This is how I found myself elbows deep in good Italian flour in my friend Lyndsey’s kitchen one quiet Sunday evening. Lyndsey was teaching me to make pasta during a time when the absolute last thing I wanted to do was try something new. My husband was out of town, and I’d been ordering takeout more than I’d like to admit.

However, I found that I loved the methodical rhythm of the pasta-making, and it was fun to work alongside a close friend in a new space. The lesson instilled in me a love of homemade pasta making; on a regular basis, Lyndsey and I swap recipe ideas via text, and this, too, has helped me push past the idea that cooking is a chore on the days when I least want to cook.

Make it 1% Better

Skinner is a big proponent of easing back into the kitchen when you’ve lost the spark. “Rather than trying to fix everything or feel 100 percent better all at once, [ask yourself] what can you do to make cooking feel just 1 percent more enjoyable?” Skinner suggests slowing down, taking the time to smell and taste what you’re making, even if it’s something quite simple like scrambled eggs or a basic grilled cheese.

Cooking can be restorative, reduce stress and lead to an overall healthier lifestyle. But if you push yourself when you’re not in a place to be pushed, it can backfire, and you might end up feeling worse and even more reluctant to return to the stove.

“Trying to force yourself to feel good about something is a great recipe for frustration and burnout,” says Skinner, adding that if you implement changes one percent at a time, you “make small, incremental steps towards what you want.”

That may mean picking up a cookbook from your local library branch or listening to an episode of a food-focused podcast. You could binge-watch a cooking show or browse a food magazine. Make your kitchen a happy space, advises Hoffman. “You’re not going to feel good cooking if your space doesn’t feel good.”


Are any of you tired of planning and cooking meals? Let us know in the comments below.