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I Was an Anxious Traveler. So, Here's What I Did

Strategies to work through the jitters and be brave when boarding a plane.

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illustration of woman panicking over travel plans, travel anxiety
Pete Gamlen
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I have a recurring packing dream. It opens with a small blue plastic suitcase. At first, I need only pack clothes. But soon I realize that I must pack up the whole room, including the furniture. Next, I have to stuff the entire contents of the house in the bag. But wait, the house has secret rooms I’ve just discovered .....

Oh, did I mention that a huge storm is coming, so I must rush to do the packing, knowing I’ll be traveling in a blizzard, monsoon, hurricane or whatever other weather calamity my subconscious cooks up?

As you may have guessed, I am an anxious traveler. It’s not a phobia — though I’m not a big fan of flying — but just an overall deep, jittery sense of apprehension when I have a trip coming up. It doesn’t matter whether I’m going to some new, exotic locale or the upstate family cabin, a place as familiar as my own home.

I actually enjoy being in new places — once I get there, that is. Yet everything about the travel process fills me with stress — the planning, the packing, the getting to the airport or getting on the highway.

It’s not like I’m deploying to a war zone; most often, I’m heading off for pleasure. What’s wrong with me?

According to those who treat anxiety, I’m asking the wrong question. What I should figure out instead is: What’s triggering these emotions, and how reality-based are my fears? After that, I can learn to manage them.

Travel anxiety is not uncommon. Fear of the unknown, lack of control, feeling unprepared, phobias about transportation, worries about contagious illness, economic pressures and more can add to the stress.

“Not knowing what may happen or being in an unfamiliar place or area, or engaging in new experiences, can bring up a lot of anxiety around what to do in those situations,” says Dr. Kalya Castillo, a licensed psychologist based in New York.

Certainly, traveling can cause strain for specific reasons. Dr. Castillo says that she has patients who now worry more about documentation and safety over identity at border crossings. She’s also witnessed anxiety over travel for work presentations or when the destination involves a difficult family situation. Sometimes, a person has had a frightening travel experience that they are still processing.

Compounding the problem, anxious travelers also tend to gravitate towards media coverage of potential danger, which recently has included loss of contact with aircraft at two major airports, a chronic shortage of air traffic controllers, illness outbreaks on cruise ships and anti-American feelings abroad.

Dr. Castillo recommends that people put some parameters around how they consume media.

But it’s also important to try to separate fears from reality, many say. Anxiety is an emotion — and sometimes a healthy reaction to real danger — but if it spirals into constant, worried, catastrophic thinking, it can take away your ability to clearly understand risks, says Dr. Lorenzo Norris, associate professor of psychiatry at George Washington University School of Medicine and Health Sciences.

“If I see a lion, I’m not going to process how the lion feels, I’m running,” he said. “But turbulence on a flight is not a lion.”

Dr. Norris encourages anxious travelers to examine the evidence. According to the FAA, turbulence is a normal part of flying, caused by different atmospheric conditions. It may feel dangerous, but injuries are rare: turbulence poses risk primarily to passengers not wearing seatbelts.

“Sometimes the more knowledge you get, the more you understand the actual risk of the event,” he says. “Also know thyself. Many of us know things that trigger us — turbulence, coming to the airport late, or not having some sort of distraction on the plane. You can control your lack of feeling safe.”

Managing travel anxiety is much like treating other fears — you need your own toolkit to stay calm. Try a grounding exercise, like the popular 5-4-3-2-1 technique, which brings you into the present and can interrupt spiraling thoughts. Deep breathing, visualizing a calm journey and listening to a relaxing playlist can all be helpful. Apps like Headspace and Calm have specific programs to quell anxious thinking.

If anxiety becomes paralyzing and is interfering with your life, consider seeing a therapist for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). A clinician will first help you identify your thoughts, emotions and the behaviors associated with them. The longer you avoid doing the activity you’re frightened of, the more entrenched that avoidance will become.

“People may have thoughts about being unable to do certain things, like travel,” Dr. Castillo says. “The thought process becomes maladaptive and even reinforces the anxiety around it. It’s a cycle that will most likely continue to repeat itself until you're able to get help in that area.”

Recently, I got back from a wonderful trip to Portugal. I had been a wreck the week before I left. And guess what? Things didn’t go perfectly. My packing was an epic fail — it was too cold and rainy for most of the cute summer outfits in my suitcase. The country experienced a major blackout while we were there. And the plane, of course, was delayed and took a scary dip as we approached the airport.

No big deal — I rinsed some pants out in the sink, got extra exercise by hiking up the hotel steps (the elevators weren’t working) and the plane safely landed. Meanwhile, we visited incredible wineries, churches, coastline, castles and more.

These days, I still get some jitters and dreams of impending catastrophes when prepping for a trip. But then I push through this wave of anxiety by opening my toolkit of coping techniques. Exercising, spending time outdoors and practicing calming breathing are now all part of my pre-travel routine. Sometimes, I schedule a session with my therapist to reinforce that most of my fears are not reality-based.

The screensaver on my laptop now shows a photo of gently tiered vineyards with a stunning lemon tree in the foreground, taken on the Portugal trip. Looking at the scene not only makes me feel happy but also surprisingly calm. I wonder where I will go next.

Do any of you get anxious before taking a trip? What do you do about it? Let us know in the comments below. 

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