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For Now, Here's What I'm Happily Raising Instead of Grandchildren

Why this hobby brings me so much joy.

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grandmother, crib, tomatos growing, illustration
Mojo Wang
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My great-grandmother used to say, “Children are your money in the bank, but grandchildren are your interest.” I don’t have grandchildren yet, so I’ve channeled my interest into my garden.

Growing up, my dad kept a vegetable garden on the side of our pink-shingled split-level house in New Jersey, where he’d stake tomato vines, pick green beans for dinner, and tie up dried golden corn stalks into bundles for Halloween.

I’d help out occasionally, mainly picking ripe red strawberries, but the slimy slugs that hid in the leaves made me avoid the garden much of the time. After college, I moved straight to the city. While my older sister went on to buy a farm, raising chickens and rescuing abandoned livestock, I preferred wandering galleries, sipping wine at trendy bars, and people watching.

That changed three years ago when we bought a renovated 110-year-old house with a small raised bed garden and a compost heap. The first year I hired Claudio, a charming, shaggy-haired garden specialist who planted what I requested, offered tips, and tidied up as things became overgrown.

As cute as Claudio was, I felt like Eva Gabor’s character, Lisa, on the '60s show Green Acres. This city girl needed to see if I could handle the job myself. I filled my car up on multiple trips to Home Depot and specialty garden centers and got to work planting. I ordered tools and a monogrammed garden tote. My first solo garden had small seedlings of zucchini, cucumber, tomatoes, and herbs.

After a short vacation, I returned to find my garden overtaken by an explosion of mammoth yellow and green squash, and about a gazillion tomatoes! They self-seeded beyond their beds, sprawling across the fence and outside its boundaries. As anyone who gardens knows, it became an obsession.

While I had my hands deep in fertile soil, my friends were up to their wrists in soiled diapers. One by one, they were becoming new grandparents, proudly sharing pictures of their adorable little cherubs, while I shared photos of luscious red, orange, and yellow cherry tomatoes.

Tomatoes are surprisingly photogenic! And quite tasty! I made so much sauce that I had to buy another freezer. I was handing out pints to neighbors, friends, and even foisted some on the dishwasher repairman. It seemed my arthritic thumbs had turned to green thumbs!

Soon, I was the “Crazy Tomato Lady,” sporting a tomato-print apron and receiving gifts with tomato themes from friends.

In some ways, tending a garden feels like raising a child (I have two grown sons). It starts in the garden nursery. You plant a seed, then wait to see what forms. Each day there’s something new — a fresh bud or flower, a tiny fruit forming, or an overnight growth spurt. You water and nurture your plants and take pride in watching them develop into something beautiful, without the sleepless nights or crying!

A garden is a treasure hunt full of surprises. I love discovering hidden eggplants or cucumbers hiding under broad leaves or a “volunteer” pumpkin vine sprouting from compost soil. Last spring, I lifted some soft, downy fur from a shallow hole and found a nest of baby bunnies. Unlike Peter Rabbit in Mr. McGregor’s garden, I let them stay and even dine on some veggies.

In the garden, there’s a calmness and connection to nature that you don’t find in a bustling city. I get my hands dirty, I clear my mind, and the physical labor and sweat make me feel stronger and healthier than in any indoor exercise class.

Last fall, I pulled out the dead vines and dug holes for garlic cloves. I mulched, composted, and tucked my garden to bed for the winter. I also scrolled through garden Instagram accounts, getting info on seeds and tools to buy. As the weather turns warmer, the garlic is already sprouting, and I’m excited for the new season of planting and growth.

There’s a “circle of life” to gardening … connecting with the earth, eating fresh food that tastes of sun and light, and sharing my bounty with family and friends. It provides a rhythm I find fulfilling.

As my garden grows, so does my family. I’m thrilled that my sons are engaged to wonderful young women. And when the day comes that I become a grandmother, nothing will make me happier than sharing this simple joy with a little one by my side, filling a basket of ripe cherry tomatoes, and passing on the wonder of my little seaside garden. 

EASY TOMATO SAUCE RECIPE

3 to 4 pints mixed varieties of summer-ripened cherry tomatoes

Yellow onion (chopped)

3 cloves garlic (minced)

On a large baking sheet, toss whole cherry tomatoes with olive oil, salt, pepper, thyme, and oregano and roast at 400 degrees until the tomatoes burst (20-25 minutes). While they roast, add oil to a large sauce pot and sauté the onion until softened. Add the garlic and cook until golden.

When the tomatoes are ready, pour the tomatoes and juices into the pot, add the basil, and simmer on low for 30 minutes or more. Pour into a blender or use an immersion blender to combine. I like to leave it a bit chunky. Add sugar if you like a sweeter sauce. If you prefer to strain some of the skins, use a ricer or sieve. I like to freeze it so there’s sauce on hand long after summer ends.

 
How many of you have a garden? What are you growing? Let us know in the comments below.

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