Don't Want to Look Frumpy? Start Doing This

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Attention women who suffer from closet confusion: if you want to upgrade your image, start by standing up straight.

Slump equals Frump. Humps do, too. And Plump — that softening of our bodies from angular to round — also frumps up our frames.

Alas, slouches and pooches indicate that we’ve boarded that train to Frumpy Town.

I know, because I once caught a reflection of myself, and my posture was so bad, my head was leading the rest of my body as I walked down the street. My fabulous slip dress and pointy-toe boots said “Cool Girl,” but my posture screamed “Crone.”

To my horror, I was curling up like the old cartoon queen in Snow White because of the first signs of “senile kyphosis” — a forward tilt to my gait caused by a shortening of the spine.

I quickly sucked in my tummy, yanked back my shoulders and heeded the words of my longtime Pilates instructor, Darla O’Brien, who shared her quick trick for proper posture: “Pinch the dime!”

What Darla means: stand up straight, elongate your spine and engage your core muscles so your abs and butt are so tight you could pinch a dime between your cheeks.

Darla swears that women look 10 years younger when they “pinch the dime.”

If you want to look like a Frump, don’t pinch. Otherwise …

Mind the three P’s: Posture, proportion, presence.

Posture … if you need a good example, look at Helen Mirren. The actress once said that her self-confidence came from her posture.

Good posture “gives that feeling of ‘taking my space’ ... you're literally one of a kind — take your space and maintain it.”

Slumping is the old-lady form of shrinkage. To combat my bad posture, I wear a $185 posture bra by Forme, the kind Taylor Swift wore when rehearsing her last tour. Posture bras come in many brands and a range of prices. Be sure to try one with a good return policy, because the best ones are expensive and train your shoulders without being painful. You might check out the Fit Geno posture bra or the DELIMIRA posture bra, as well.

As Darla says, “If you have good posture, you own the world.”

Proportion … looking current is an antidote to Frumpdom.

Do you know what to wear to enhance the natural shape of your body? The common older-woman uniform of cropped pants or skinny jeans with a tunic top is often frumpy, because it visually cuts a body in two halves, the least flattering proportion.

If you haven’t bought clothes in a while, look at websites like Anthropologie or Nordstrom to see how the stylists put outfits together in up-to-date proportions.

Also, check out the YouTube channel of British fashion expert Trinny Woodall, founder of Trinny London cosmetics. She does the best tutorials I’ve seen on styling outfits to flatter your proportions. Trinny, for example, has a long torso and shorter legs, so she often wears high-waisted, wide-leg pants to elongate her legs and a cropped jacket to shorten the visual look of her torso.

I have an hourglass shape, thickened by what I call my “frump hump” — the tire of pudge that circles me from my belly button to my high-hip area. It blossomed three years ago, when I turned 65.

To camouflage my frump hump, I wear vests, what Trinny calls “waistcoats.” Vests are back in a big way this summer. I wear linen vests over tank tops with my baggy linen pants and flowing full skirts. I wear vests over my slip dresses. At the proper length — long enough to cover my frump hump but not too long to throw off the proportion with my wider bottoms — vests are my anti-frump summer staple. (Zara, Quince and The Gap sell them for around $40.)

Also, I avoid dolman sleeves or tops with dropped shoulders, because my shoulders are too round already. If you feel frumpy, add angles — a V-neck vest, a small shoulder pad, a pointy-toe shoe, a crossbody bag or a long necklace for a vertical line.

Good news for angle lovers: this season’s hottest sneakers are tapered “sneakerinas” — a mash-up of a sneaker and a ballerina flat. Update your bulky sneaks for the sleeker “sneakerina” and you’ll fight frump-dom. (Adidas and Puma offer slim sneakers for around $100.)

Presence … do you want to stand out or shrink? Only you can set your “Visibility Meter” — how visible do you want to be?

Ted Lasso star Hannah Waddingham says she “makes herself big” before every performance by standing up on her tiptoes, throwing her shoulders back and holding out her arms.

Your fashion choices also make you bigger or smaller. “Clothes have a great deal to do with one’s personality,” legendary Bergdorf Goodman personal shopper Betty Halbreich, who died last year at 96, writes in her new book, No One Has Seen It All. “After all, they’re your outer skin, or the costume you show the world.”

If you’re happy to fade into the wallpaper, that’s right for you. Personally, I’m afraid to fade. I like to be noticed, and if that requires pinching the dime, wearing gypsy dresses a la Stevie Nicks and getting a blowout every five days, that’s what I’m going to do.

My friend Laura recently lost 50 pounds and bought a new wardrobe for around $1,000 by scouring thrift stores, T.J. Maxx and Nordstrom Rack. At 5' 8", Laura has a classic style — not as bold or bohemian as mine. Her slim-down boosted her swagger, so she ditched shapeless shirts in beige and black for colorful cropped jackets and flared jeans.

Expressing on the outside how she felt inside “was a big transformation,” she confessed.

For the first time in 30 years, she bought a bathing suit — a skirted suit in a tropical print. And she’s getting noticed.

Cruising the produce aisle in one of her new orange tops — a floaty, feminine number — she passed an older gentleman, who commented, “That color looks great on you.”

Sure, it was a pretty color. But what really looked great was Laura’s confidence, back again, glowing strong — and far, far away from Frumpy Town.


What types of clothes do YOU tend to gravitate towards? Let us know in the comments below.