Are you seeking new connections and friends? Then join our amazing private Facebook group, The Ethel Circle, today. You'll love it!
My late mother-in-law took lying about her age to the extreme. Sylvia looked great — for her age. Nevertheless, when she was 90, she told her friends that she was three years younger. I asked her why. She responded that no one wants to be with an “old lady.”
When she lived in a retirement community near Miami, she survived a fatal automobile accident. The driver was killed, and two women in the back suffered critical injuries. Sylvia had the presence of mind to lie about her age as she was wheeled into the ambulance.
When my husband and I took her on a trip to Switzerland, we had no idea that she had crossed out her birth date in her passport. That’s a felony. Only because of her age, the immigration officer merely scolded her, but let her through. They could have locked her up.
She asked me not to reveal her age in her obituary.
I am very different from my mother-in-law. I am proud of my age. I brag that I am 85 years old. People say I look good for my age. My cognitive abilities are good for my age. And I feel great for my age.
This wasn’t always the case.
When I was in my mid-50s, I was teaching part-time at a small private school. I was the second-oldest person on the faculty.
I never thought about ageism until the headmaster asked me my age. (That’s against the law today.) When I told the truth, he looked astounded — he was in his late 30s. I assume he thought I looked very good and didn’t realize that mid-50s would be considered young in years to come, with women in their 90s comprising a large part of the senior population, and looking good at every age.
However, several weeks later, I was “let go” due to “funding problems at the school.” I couldn’t prove that I was fired because of my age, and there were no age discrimination laws in place at that time. I felt humiliated as I walked down the stairs, carrying my carton of belongings, saying my goodbyes, hugging my colleagues with tears in our eyes.
I carried on, writing articles and books. On one occasion, I was to meet with a book editor in New York City. We had communicated by phone. She had a very young voice. People often told me that my voice was very youthful. I worried and wondered how she would react to this “older woman.”
Our meeting was a success. Although she was in her late twenties, we had fun, swapping stories and laughing like kids. So, I told her my age. She gave all the right answers. She seemed to almost wish she were more worldly and accomplished. That encounter made me feel better about my age. Nevertheless, I avoided announcing my age for several years.
However, now in my 80s, I tell everyone my age.
I keep my brain from shrinking by reading news articles every day, doing crossword puzzles and online word games. I belong to a book club. I contribute regularly to AARP publications and other publications. I teach courses to help people get their articles and books published.
To keep my body in shape, I walk on the treadmill 40 minutes daily and practice yoga with a group of older women once a week. My instructor is in her 80s.
I play Monopoly and card games with my grandchildren. I also love being with my grown children and their spouses. They don’t treat me like an old lady, although I know they worry about me living alone. Since my husband died two years ago, I often lean on them for support and advice.
I have occasional aches and pains. Although my fingers are bent with osteoarthritis, I still play the piano. Like many of my contemporaries, I take several medications — ACE inhibitors to prevent high blood pressure and statins to lower the risk of heart disease and strokes. (My mother died at age 53 as a result of a stroke, so I am at high risk.)
I’m fortunate to be relatively healthy. My father used to say, “If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.”
Even so, I do admit it can be challenging to age, especially for women.
There are cultural pressures to look young. Many of our friends have Botox injections, acid treatments, eye lifts, tummy tucks and facelifts. While I support any woman’s choice to do whatever it takes to look her best, these procedures are not for me, as they are not always successful.
When people ask about my age, I tell them I don’t look in mirrors or that I cover the mirrors with Vaseline. That’s my corny joke — but people laugh. I don’t believe that they are laughing at me — they are laughing with me. As you can see, I am enjoying life and remain very engaged in life. Every day is a new adventure, whether I am teaching or taking a course, whether it’s traveling to see a friend or grandchild, or simply having phone conversations with women I admire.
Anyone over age 75 has some aches and pains, though the ache to look younger is not what makes us feel younger. The youthful spirit comes with staying engaged, with learning, with friends and with life! We older women don’t see ourselves as “little old ladies.” As long as we have our health, age should not matter.
Do any of you lie about your age? Let us know in the comments below.
December 4, 2025
