The Key to Finding and Wearing a Bra That Really Fits

Dec. 3, 1978, was one of the happiest days of my life. I was 12. It was cold outside, but Reno, Nevada’s Weinstock’s department store was warm and intoxicating, filled with the scent of Charlie perfume. Up the escalator my mother and I went to the junior’s department.

There, in a discreet corner, was the display shelf of my dreams. It contained rows of boxed “training” bras. I came home with an aspirational 28AAA, very much hoping to grow champagne-coupe size breasts, like the strawberry-blonde who appeared in a Playtex’s Cross Your Heart “Beautiful Ones” commercial. Alas, by the time Sony released their first Walkman in 1979, I was a more “full-figured gal” than Jane Russell, who advertised the Playtex’s “18-Hour” line (and, in case you’re curious, wore a 34D). I spent all of eighth grade feeling humiliated — not because boys snapped my bra, but because its backstrap was as wide as cassette tape. Today, depending on a bra’s brand, I wear a H, K or octuple-D cup. No, I am not overweight: At 20.8, my BMI is normal. But I am freakish.

Today, the average American woman wears a double-D cup (a lot is larger than I thought), which means that if my feet were as proportionally large as my breasts, I’d wear a size-15 shoe. This is a challenge. And, ever since the Carter administration, I’ve been on a quest to find a bra that’s well-fitting (no spillage, top or bottom) and super-supportive (but not a sausage casing) yet doesn’t look (or feel) like a Kevlar-vest crop top. Long story short: no luck — until earlier this year when my dear friend Lisa said, “Go to BraTenders.”      

BraTenders is a by-appointment boutique in the theater district of Manhattan. Lori Kaplan opened the store in 1999 to cater to the undergarment needs of theater actors — both women and men. Today, BraTenders “uplifts,” “supports” and “empowers” anyone who makes an appointment. The majority of customers are not actors, but regular women who’ve experienced a lifetime of breast drama — and are so ready for that show to be over.    

Here are the top 8 pieces of bosom wisdom I’ve learned from Kaplan, as well as a bit of my own research and tips from my personal bartender — the ever-supportive Nicolette Tantaglia.

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You are probably wearing the wrong bra size. Most likely your backstrap is too big and your cup size is too small.

“My theory is that women think if their clothing size has increased, then the size of their ribcage must’ve too,” Tantaglia says. But that is not so. The bratender also thinks that a lot women buy into the myth that breasts decrease in size with age. Also, not true. As we get older, our breasts do deflate — that is, they lose volume on top. But, at the same time, our dense breast tissue is replaced by fatty tissue. The net result for most women: bigger breasts as they get older. “I’ve never seen someone come in here smaller than they used to be,” Tantaglia says.

You are probably putting your bra on wrong.