The One Thing Many Women Experience but Are Embarrassed to Share

Most days I feel young. And then I sneeze. After two births, a hysterectomy and perimenopause, my indoor plumbing isn’t what it used to be. Embarrassing memories of my mom frantically clenching her knees together — and declaring “I’m going to sneeze!” — make sense to me now. Bladder incontinence isn’t the most glamorous subject, but it is one that affects many women, regardless of age. (However, men are not exempt from this either.)

Childbirth, menopause, aging, constipation, chronic coughing, being overweight and chronic illnesses — such as multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease and transverse myelitis — can wreak havoc on pelvic floors.

One day you’re running around without a care in the world and the next your Googling “Am I too young for Depends?” Have no fear. Here’s what the experts say women can do to help their leaky situation.

Also, any change in bowel behavior should always be discussed with your doctor to rule out any possible underlying health issues. However, urinary incontinence is extremely common.

“The two most common types of incontinence — stress urinary and urgency urinary — are usually not dangerous or detrimental to your health, but they can really impact your quality of life,” shares Rena Malik, M.D., assistant professor of surgery and director of female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery at the University of Maryland School of Medicine.

“Stress urinary incontinence is associated with activities that increase the pressure on the bladder — for example, coughing, sneezing and exercise,” Malik says.

If you are suffering from incontinence, high intensity exercises, such as squats or jumping, can aggravate the situation by putting pressure on your pelvis. Malik suggests switching to low-impact activities, like swimming or biking, that are beneficial because they are gentler on the pelvis.  

“The go-to treatment for this is pelvic floor physical therapy or Kegel exercises — which can be done at home or with a supervised pelvic floor physical therapist. People who do [the exercises] with supervision tend to do better and learn how to do them more effectively. You do need to continue doing these regularly to see a continued benefit,” Malik says.

According to Harvard Medical School’s Harvard Health Publishing, the trickiest part of Kegel exercises is doing them right.

Pretend that you are trying to avoid passing gas or pretend to tighten your vagina around a tampon. To ensure you are accessing the correct set of muscles, experts recommend that you first attempt this while lying down, until you get the feel of contracting the pelvic floor muscles.