Revealed! 90-Something Women Share the Secrets for a Long, Happy Life

However, our doctors all stress that lifestyle practices also fuel longevity, including a balance of activities that are physical, emotional, social, spiritual and intellectual. In this mix, Years of study show that those who live this long have "really robust social health or social fitness ... a circle of people you can count on," Snelling said, and that engaging in “passion projects” is also essential.

Snelling's findings point to the happiness factor that comes for super-agers, those who have survived the decades of stresses that come with young adulthood and midlife. "You peak in your happiness in your 80s,” she said.

Some might wonder how this is possible, given some of the health problems that can accompany aging. Snelling said that while it is possible to suffer from physical issues or the loss of friends, we can age with finesse by utilizing “all the wisdom accrued and giving back" as a mentor, to grandkids — and to the community.

My mother employs the strategies Snelling advocates. When asked how she lives well at 98, she told me her formula. "Not being a complainer. Accepting what is. Try to be a positive thinker. Be grateful when your family lives nearby, and you get to see them. Seek out new interests. Don't be crabby. Keep yourself occupied. Help others."

Sondra Plone, 92, maintained her psychotherapy practice until two years ago and now finds joy in spending time with her children and grandchildren and engaging in classes like a memoir group. "Writing these stories from our past keeps our minds active," she said. "That creativity is good for me."

Plone expresses gratitude for her health and for “being blessed’ with a good mind and a good memory. And when the inevitable comes? She says: "I'm hoping and praying that when the time comes for me to pass away ... I don't have any challenges that are big for me or my family. I hope I'm brave and a good sport like my husband was, and I hope I don't burden them."

While many in this age group prefer to age in place in their homes, the National Library of Medicine report cites that many 90-somethings need assistance with daily activities, including shopping, driving, dressing, bathing and scheduling appointments. Indeed, Plone and my mother both cited giving up their car keys as a tough transition, even though they knew it was time to do so for the safety of themselves and others.

Though some 90-year-olds live independently, often with the assistance of family members or hired caregivers, others move to assisted living to get additional support. Senior living communities can also offer a built-in social and activity component but can be cost-prohibitive. According to the National Council on Aging, average yearly rates for assisted living in the U.S. are $54,000, depending on the region, type of community and level of care provided. That is a reason Snelling mentions financial planning as one of the strategies for living well into one's 90s.

Good news for single nonagenarian women hoping to find a male companion: Census figures show that in 2000, about one-third of people in their 90s were men, but in 2020, about half were. Snelling attributes the increased number of men to health trends, including fewer smokers, knowledge of being a good healthcare consumer and using tools to reduce stress and stay healthy.

As for my mom? We expect to have her around for a good while longer. She has told us since she was 50, "I'm going to live to 100," but as she closes in on that milestone next year, she has renegotiated. "I'll live past 100," she said, "you'll see.”

If her genes are dominant, that’s good news for me — I’m only 63!

What do YOU think is the secret to living well into your 90s? Let us know in the comments below.